Monday, December 1, 2008

I Just Want to Settle Down

Over the past seven years I've moved five times. When my parents divorced we moved from the Air Force Base to a small-ish house for four years. Then mom remarried and we moved into my step-dad's more spacious house. After almost a year there I moved into the dorms at school for almost a year. Then I rented a room in someone's house for a year. Finally, I moved into my own apartment just days before registering here. Every year I've been out of my parents' house I've made a minor change in location. Even when I go back to visit my family that house doesn't feel much like home since I spent a good quarter of that year (over various weekends and chunks of the summer) at my boyfriend's house and most of the rest of the time at school or a friend's house. The closest place I have to a "home" seems to be split to the area around my computer desk and my boyfriend's room at his current place. The place I pay rent for is just the place I come back to and store my stuff.

I'm getting sick and tired of this. I've finally got a place that is just mine, no roommates and it doesn't seem like I can make it comfortable. I seem to have developed something like a wanderlust and I don't like it. It can work for now because I'm still young and all that jazz but eventually I want to settle down with the boy and maybe even have a family or long-term pets and not worry about constantly relocating. I find myself getting lonely, not because of a lack of roommates because I actually enjoy being alone in that sense, but because I don't feel right in my own skin in the place that I live. It just kind of nags at inopportune moments.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

(thought I'd replied to this already...oops...)

Dang... So a sorta... Oh... caged feeling? Like "Ok, what now?" ?
>.< I've been there for short periods... HATED it... Limbo. Evil EVIL limbo... >.<